Domestic violence survivor speaks to students

October 27, 2010

Emily Toothman’s message couldn’t be ignored. And the amount of applause she received from the students of Mayfield Jr./Sr. High School on Oct. 26 showed they agreed.

Toothman, a domestic violence survivor and spokesperson for the National Domestic Violence Hotline in Texas, shared her story with students in the auditorium for about an hour. She started her presentation with examples from the media and talked about athletes and celebrities like Brett Favre, Eminem, Rihanna, and rapper Chris Brown.

 “I am a walking breathing example of one of the three million people in the U.S. who are stalked,” she said. “If you look at someone like Brett Favre, people are talking about him (allegedly) sending text messages to Jenn Sterger, not his 70,000 yards passing.”

 Toothman, 27, graduated from the University of Texas in 2005. During her freshman year, she met a student named, Brian, who eventually became her boyfriend. She said she didn’t notice the red flags of isolation, jealousy, quick involvement, controlling behavior and constant monitoring he showed. A year after they broke-up, he began stalking her by sending constant voice mails, text messages, e-mails, and showing up wherever she was.

“He was always right there. I couldn’t get rid of him. He sat behind me in every class and would show up where my friends and I were at,” she said.

The stalking eventually turned violent as Toothman’s ex-boyfriend attacked her, leaving her with a sprained wrist, broken rib and multiple bruises. A week later, he confronted her again and held a knife to her throat. She got away and called the police, but not before she had to kick his knee.

The presentation was made possible through a grant secured by the Domestic Violence Program of the Family Counseling Center in Fulton County.

Fulton County District Attorney Louise Sira heard Toothman speak last year and knew she had to bring her to Mayfield as part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Sira said there are an extremely high number of incidents of domestic violence and teen dating violence in the county.

“Her story is one that anyone can relate to. Based on the offenses we see in the D.A.’s office, we thought she had something to bring as far as crime prevention,” she said.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline was established in 1996. It serves as the only domestic violence hotline in the nation with access to more than 5,000 shelters and domestic violence programs across the United States, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.